My daughter loves my dad more, what should I do?
"Daughter loves dad more, what to do? You're with her all day – you make her eat and sleep, and take medicine when you need it. And he came after work – and the light in the window for her, just playing and lisping."I received such a letter from a friend and again wondered – Why does my daughter love her father more? I can't consider the issue of my sons, since I have two daughters and no sons.
The question of daddy's daughter arises deeply from childhood, when the first man with whom the daughter is seriously in love is dad. Dad is always admired, dad is adored. Why is this happening?It just so happens that in most cases, the mother is with her daughter almost all the time. My mother is not only close, but my mother is trying to raise her little Princess, constantly reads her morals, makes her eat, clean up her toys. And if the daughter is ill, then she gives bitter medicines. It is the mother who collects her daughter in the morning to kindergarten, and then to school. Ties tight pigtails and makes you wear your favorite dress.
It's not like that with dad. If the father gathers his little girl in the morning to the garden or school, be sure that the daughter will wear what she wants: a new evening dress, jeans with raspberry syrup on the knee and go with her hair down. Not because dad doesn't care about his daughter's appearance, but because dad cares about how his little daddy's daughter will feel. The evening arrival of the Pope from work is always a holiday. Dad hugs his favorite women: mother and daughter. The whole family gathers at the evening table. And of course, after listening to home news, dad's news begins, which is always more interesting.
The fact that the daughter loves her father more is part of the mother's fault. Not because mom is bad, but because we're built a little differently. We manage to casually tell dad about the good moments of today and be sure to complain about our daughter's Skoda and do it in front of her. I don't know what we expect in response, but as a rule, in response, dad just laughs and says that his little girl is still the best Princess on earth.
Spending time with my mom is still boring. It's the same thing every day. Walking on the Playground, and if you are lucky or otherwise unlucky, also run to the supermarket for groceries. Well, if my mother has enough imagination to diversify walks with new games and constantly change the usual routes. And if you just don't have the strength to do it? After all, my mother still has to do the housework and prepare a delicious and healthy lunch and dinner.
A walk with dad is always a waterfall of emotions. Even a walk along the usual route turns into a journey with the discovery of new corners. Dad knows a lot of stories and a lot of places to go for new experiences. My daughter loves my dad because he is never boring.
Another point in the difference between the upbringing of mom and dad is dad's ability to negotiate in any situation. If the Pope has agreed, he will honestly fulfill all the agreements. With mom, everything will happen differently, sometimes exactly the opposite.
If the father promised to clean the toys for a ride on the carousel and a huge ice cream – be sure – he will fulfill his promise, because he will not even have the idea in his brain that you can do it differently. As a representative of moms, I honestly admit that the temptation to replay the agreement occurs every second and I try to reduce my part of the agreement all the time. Whether it's an ice cream without a walk or a walk, but without a carousel. Probably in this, too, there is a point why daughters love their dad more.
Dad never imposes his opinion on his daughter about what to buy or what to wear. He can advise, but not insist. In the store, when my eldest daughter is spinning in front of the mirror and can't decide whether to choose her jacket or raincoat, she always hears from her dad: "Don't worry, my dear, take both, it won't be superfluous." The youngest, an avid Shopaholic, can't open the closet at all. They manage to buy everything they need with dad in unrealistic quantities. And when my youngest daughter looks faithfully into my dad's eyes and says that she needs a black t – shirt, I jump up and yell that she already has more than 5 of them, and my dad goes and buys them. However, he does the same for me. Maybe this also played a role in choosing a life partner.
My daughters know and have no doubt that my father always wanted two daughters. We never heard that he wanted a son. If someone you know asks-why don't you give birth to a son – dad always answers with a laugh that he doesn't know what to do with his son, but having two beautiful girls is his dream.
Our girls know that in any situation, even the worst, dad will always be on their side, he will never hurt them and I have never even heard him yell at them. Perhaps this is also an important point in the question – why girls love their dad more. They know that when they come of age, their dad will buy them an apartment and help them pay for their education wherever they want. They behave with him in a completely different way than with me.
Dad always talks to his daughter on an equal footing, and I always speak from the position of an adult. Perhaps this is the reason that when choosing which girls love their father or mother more, it turns out that the daughter almost always loves her father more.
Of course, this is a special case. And here I reasoned on the example of my family and the families of my friends and acquaintances. I don't take into account families where the father is an alcoholic or a born sadist. Of course, in these families, there will be no question of a daughter's love for her father.
In conclusion, I would like to wish all mothers more patience and care. Let's pamper our daughters a little more and learn to negotiate with them. And if you agree – then keep your word, like dad.
What about your family?
Do you think that your daughter loves her father more for something else? I would very much like to hear your answers.
Natalia klyuchnikova, mother of two daughters.